Revolution v. Columbus Crew, 10.15.11: The Pacifier and Thumb-Sucking Celebrations

I love the smiling enthusiasm and forthrightness with the media that coach Jurgen Klinsmann has brought to the U.S. men’s national team. However, his suggestion that MLS extend its season gives me pause, if not chills down the spine. Before the MLS powers that be consent to this plan, I suggest they be made to sit in a room and watch every single New England Revolution match played this year, including U.S. Open Cup games. By the time they get to last Saturday’s match—a drab 3-0 home thrashing at the hands of the Columbus Crew—all those suits will be begging the film projectionist for mercy. The Revolution mailed in their performance against the Crew, looking hapless in the back and failing to create a single dangerous shot on goal. I doubt that any of the Revs’ players benefited from the experience, even sixteen-year-old Diego Fagundez, who saw a lot of the ball early and then faded into invisibility.

Columbus held the ball less than the Revolution—not surprising given the fact that they were up early and throughout—and generated only three shots on goal themselves, but of course they converted all those. Columbus looked strong up top with their striker tandem of Emilio Renteria and Andres Mendoza. When those two weren’t getting flagged offside (they combined for eleven such calls) or complaining about getting flagged offside, Mendoza was scoring goals and Renteria was assisting on them. After Mendoza’s first goal, in the 31^st minute, he pulled a pacifier from his shorts and sucked on it. After his second—an impressive one-time cannon of a shot off a Renteria cross—he sucked his thumb. I guess he’s never heard of the biblical injunction to put away childish things.

Jay Heaps and Brad Feldman refrained from commenting on the celebratory displays, with which almost all soccer fans are unfortunately familiar. I understand that Carlos Tevez is the originator of the pacifier celebration, which was meant to honor his baby girl. While I’m all for spontaneous celebrations on athletic fields, premeditatedly carrying around a pacifier in one’s shorts all game in the hopes of scoring and then sucking on it in public strikes me as a little embarrassing at the very least. To actually fall in line and copy someone who has done so strikes me as downright lame. Then again, it sure is degrading for opposing players and fans to watch a guy who has just scored running around the field smiling and sucking on a Nuk.  (For more information on the pacifier and thumb-sucking celebrations, check out What do Soccer Celebrations Mean? There’s even a mention of Klinsmann’s diving celebrations.)

As for the rest of this game, it’s easy to blame the loss entirely on the Revolution defense—and the back line does probably deserve the lion’s share of the blame—but New England was uninspired all around. They lacked speed up top, service from the midfield, and teeth in the back. A.J. Soares is out with an ankle injury and the Revs profoundly miss him, not just for his toughness, but for his distribution and, I suspect, for his ability to effectively communicate with his fellow defenders. In the 25^th minute against the Crew, Franco Coria stepped up near the midfield stripe to draw the offense offside, but Darrius Barnes hung back and quickly found himself helplessly sprinting back between the attacking Renteria, now with the ball at his feet, and Mendoza. Only a diving deflection of Renteria’s cross by Bobby Shuttleworth prevented a Columbus goal. When Shuttleworth regained his feet, the camera caught him exasperatedly asking his defense, “WTF was that?”

If there was a bright side to this match for the Revolution it was the return of Rajko Lekic. Many assumed he was done for the season after an ankle injury suffered in Portland on September 16. I imagine no one would have blamed him much for taking the final two games off, given his injury and the Revolution’s place in the league standings, which is now for the first time dead last. Good for him for coming back under those circumstances. Also, Benny Feilhaber showed good hustle against the Crew and as always drew a lot of fouls, including a particularly hard challenge from behind late in the second half from Danny O'Rourke that should have drawn a yellow. By the bye, Feilhaber is second in the league in fouls suffered, at 69. That’s only five behind Vancouver’s Gershon Koffie, who has played 421 more minutes than Feilhaber.