Revolution at Sporting Kansas City, U.S. Open Cup Play-In, 5.25.11

A networking opportunity prevented me from watching the first half of this U.S. Open Cup play-in game. I never thought I’d say this, but thank heaven for networking opportunities. Revolution coach Steve Nicol played a number of guys I’d never heard of before, like Otto Loewy, Ryan Kinne, and Andrew Sousa. Given the team’s performance during last night’s 5-0 destruction at the hands of Kansas City (1-6-1 in league play, for goodness sake), I may never have to familiarize myself with these players’ bios.

Depressingly, the Revs did field some players who can claim “regular” status. Didier Domi and Pat Phelan returned to action for the first time in many games, and Franco Coria, Sainey Nyassi, and Zack Schilawski also played. I don’t recall the Revs taking a single shot in the second half that could not have been saved by one of the players on the 5^th/6^th grade intramural girls team that I coach. I’m not as certain that some of my girls could have penetrated the Revs’ paper tiger defense last night, but I wouldn’t have bet much against them. (Especially given the epiphanic twenty-yard strike pounded into the back of the net last Saturday by our right back.) The ref, mercifully, tacked on zero additional time to the second half.

Sporting KC is still waiting for their new home soccer stadium to open, so the game was played at a place called the Blue Valley District Activities Complex. As far as I can tell, the “Complex” is a high-school stadium in a place called Overland Park, Kansas. To say that the facility looked bush league would be to do it a great honor, not that the Revs’ performance merited a more lavish setting. I watched the game streamed live through Sporting KC’s website. The image was grainy and jerky on my computer screen, radiating an amateur, bootleg quality that I normally associate with fan videos of 1980s alternative rock shows. The video brightness often shifted abruptly during the game, so that the players’ images were either washed out or seen through a glass darkly. A wind-whipped rain no doubt added to the technical difficulties and poor image. There were no replays.

You had to be a real soccer junkie, or someone doggedly maintaining a blog, to watch the game through. I felt particularly loyal, or diligent, as KC players notched goals 4 and 5 in the waning minutes of play. Meanwhile, KC fans could be seen sporadically getting into their Buick Enclaves and Chevy TrailBlazers to exit the small parking lot just a few yards behind the team benches. I imagine this is the kind of sacrifice Dean Benedetti made while documenting the performances of Charlie Parker, only there was no artistry on display last night from the Revolution.